One of women’s biggest complaints? Men zero right in on the goods and spend little or no time exploring other parts of their bodies. Which is a shame, because there are plenty of other hot spots you can touch, tickle and lick to increase her pleasure and yours.
Consider this your treasure map, and if you really want to take your foreplay to the next level, we recommend you add some massage oil and a body massager vibrator to the mix.
10 Secret Erogenous Zones To Explore
1. The Face
A woman’s brain shuts down for orgasm. Well, most of it—according to Dutch scientists. Commence the shutdown sequence by holding her head in your lap and massaging the area above her eyebrows with your thumbs.
“People carry a lot of tension in the face, and this helps them release and become more receptive to arousal,” says Dr. David Givens, author of Love Signals. Look for their lips to part, he says: “When a person is aroused, he or she will relax the muscles that keep the jaw shut.”
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2. The Ears
These are portals to two forms of arousal: physical (reflexogenic) and mental (psychogenic), says Dr. Emily Nagoski, author of Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life.
Touch or massage the rim of her ear between your thumb and forefinger while cradling the back of her head with your fingers. (Ignore the insensitive earlobe.)
As she responds, graze the ridge of her outer ear with the tip of your nose, says Anne Hooper, coauthor of 269 Amazing Sex Tips and Tricks for Men. “Just hearing you breathe will turn her on,” she says.
3. The Neck
Brush your lips between her throat and chin, says Dr. Sandor Gardos, founder of My Pleasure.
“The skin is thinner where the body flexes. The nerves and blood vessels are closer to the surface—that’s why it’s also a perfume point.”
You’ll engage sensory receptors and trigger an emotional response.
“It feels very intimate to let a person that close,” says Dr. Debby Herbenick, a sex researcher with the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University.
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4. The Lips
We all have kissing horror stories we’ve swapped with each other over beers and braais. Avoid becoming the subject of one of these nightmarish retellings by learning how your partner wants to be kissed—everyone is different.
Consider kissing your entrance exam. “It tells her that you understand how to be subtle, no matter where you are on her body,” says Hooper.
You’re also giving her a hormonal hors d’oeuvre, flooding her hypothalamus (the brain’s arousal centre) with pheromone-laden smells and tastes. Softly lick her upper lip or tug it gently between your lips.
5. Her Fingers
During a movie or long flight, tease her palm; hands are dense with sensory receptors.
Spread your fingers outward from the upper part of her palm, slowly moving them up her fingers. Do it lightly—touch-sensitive receptors in the skin respond better than the pressure-sensitive receptors inside.
“It’s discreet enough for no one to notice, but enticing enough to awaken other parts of her body,” says Lauren Slade, founder of the Universal College of Reflexology.
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6. Her Forearms
“The inner part of the wrist is extremely sensitive to temperature,” says Herbenick.
Try licking her wrist and blowing softly to create a cooling sensation—special receptors there are tuned to detect differences in temperature. (It’s the site that moms and dads use to check heated baby formula.)
And there are sensitive receptors in hair follicles: “Any area with fine, downy hair is going to respond best to a light, almost nonexistent touch,” says Gardos. “Just stimulate the hairs and you’ll give her shivers.”
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7. Her Breasts
Pay respects to the nerve-rich erogenous tissue at the top and underside of the breast before touching the nipple.
“Your technique should be so light that it barely indents the skin,” says sex therapist Kerrie Grow McLean.
The nipple (which, like the clitoris, feeds into orgasm-inducing neurons in the brain) contains receptors called Meissner’s corpuscles, cells that adjust to varied stimuli, like the friction of a shirt or the moisture of a tongue. The longer you tease around the nipple, the more intense direct stimulation will be.
8. The Back of Her Knees
Many women find this spot ticklish at first. “She probably is not aroused enough,” says Gardos.
Work on erogenous zones first. Cover the entire back of her leg, then trace your fingers down her thigh and calf and graze the back of her knee, using the full length of three fingers.
A firmer touch can stimulate the pressure-sensitive nerve endings, or Pacini’s corpuscles, in the skin as well, taking away the tickle.
9. Her Back
Knead the muscles between her shoulder blades and spine, and follow with light fingertip strokes.
“As you get lower and lower down the back, the nerves become more sensitive,” says Gardos.
Let your fingers drift to her sides, gently touching the sides of her breasts. During sex, take a back-rub break to delay ejaculation.
“Switching to a back rub is like, ‘Wow, he’s caring and considerate and not just all about sex,’” Herbenick says. “Little does she know he’s also using the technique to last longer.”
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10. Her Legs
Dutch researchers—they’re back again—found that the mere expectation of touch triggers activity in the planning and motivation centres of the brain, crucial for building arousal.
“Women want to wonder: ‘What is he going to do next?’” says Herbenick. “That mindset is crucial for psychological arousal and orgasm.”
Stroke her thighs in the direction of her vagina, but pull away before you reach it. Breathe on her or brush your fingers very close, awakening the skin, Gardos says.
“This will transmit a very different sort of sensation than if you’re actually making contact.”
*This article originally appeared on menshealth.com