Struggling to get those jeans on while balancing on one foot (you need to work on your pistol squats)? Our stand-up guy, Grant Van Der Berg, fits you with some advice suited to your situation.
Waistcoats. Are they really worth the style points? – Seems like they’re a waste of money (and fabric)? Look, personally I love them. They’re just a really great way to finish off your look. Here’s the caveat: when I say “look”, I mean “smart”. They’re versatile enough to offer an extra layer when it’s cold and will work just as well when it’s too warm for a jacket, as you’ll still look like you’re dressing up. Wear a waistcoat with a suit, and you’re all set to take over the boardroom. Wear one with jeans, sneakers and a felt fedora, and no one’s taking you seriously ever again.
I lent some money to a mate, now it’s been a few months past due. How do I get the cash back without jeopordising the friendship… or busting knees? – Tricky one. I’m going to say the cash is gone, and it’s not coming back. Look at it this way: if you hand over your hard-earned money and expect to have it returned someday soon, the only person who’s going to be disappointed is you. But if you consider it a gift, with no strings attached, two things happen – you look like the bigger, more generous man, and chances are that graciousness guilts your buddy into paying you back anyway. Worst-case scenario, he never gets the hint, but you don’t look like a bitter douchebag and you’ve learnt a lesson about who your real friends are, too.
Should every guy own a pair of skinny jeans or are they only for those guys with top knots? – How skinny are we talking? If your favourite pair is snug enough to not feel like you’re swimming in denim, yet loose enough to chase after that bugger who just swiped your wife’s handbag, you’re on the right track. There are only really two ways you can go wrong here – on the one hand, your jeans are so big they have frayed cuffs that look like you’ve been walking on your pants, and on the other,your junk is showing. In short: leave the spray-on denim for the millenials, and stick with worn-in, rugged jeans in a slim fit.
Littering really pisses me off. What’s the best way to give somebody back what they’ve dropped? – I hate it too, kid. But unless you’re Superman, you’re not going to catch ’em all. My trick is a simple one: I pick it up, call the guy loudly – to ensure maximum embarrassment – then very nicely hand it back to them and say “Sorry, I think you dropped this.” At this point they should feel mortified enough to never drop another emptied packet of Nik-Naks ever again. Unless the guy’s a psycho – in which case, run like hell.
I love wearing sneakers. How do I wear them to work and still manage to look professional? It depends on what you do for a living. On one hand I can’t see an investment banker getting away with wearing Air Maxes to an important meeting, but then again there’s not a lot wrong with a busy lawyer deciding he’d be better off doing all that running around in a pair of, well, running shoes. In both cases it comes down to how you’re wearing them – keep them smart, not too worn, and always as clean as possible.
What to wear for your body shape. Get a better fit by knowing how to dress according to your frame
1/Trapezoid: Broad shoulders? Narrow hips? There’s not a lot you can do wrong. Wear what fits and you’ll look great.
2/Inverted Triangle: Johnny Bravo looks good in a Speedo, but terrible in a suit. Your solution: alterations. Invest in a tailor.
3/Rectangle: This is the easiest to dress straight off the rack, as most jackets and trousers are usually made to perfect proportions.
4/Triangle: These guys have a really hard time buying clothes. Your best bet is to ask your tailor to cut you a suit that’ll fit.
5/Oval: Other than losing that extra weight? Never wear anything that fits too tightly – it’ll only make you look bigger.
